Do
Do: Assure confidentiality, let the victim know if you must report
Do: Be understanding, non-blaming, honest, and supportive
Do: Listen and validate feelings
Do: Acknowledge the abuse, show concern
Do: Ask questions, help victim to identify abusive behaviors
Do: Remind them of their strengths, compliment them
Do: Assess for danger
Do: Express concern
Do: Offer help, refer to school social worker, guidance, administrator
Do: Share information about dynamics of abusive relationships
Do: Support their decisions, be patient, and offer support for as long as it takes
Do: Provide information:
- National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE
- National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline 1-866-331-9474
- Your State Coalition Against Domestic Violence can be found at: http://www.ncadv.org/resources/StateCoalitionList_73.html
- Safety plans
- Legal information
Do: Remember that the most dangerous time for a victim is right after they leave the relationship; the victim needs to have a Safety Plan.
Don’t
Don’t: Judge or blame
Don’t: Talk to victim & abuser together
Don’t: Pressure
Don’t: Place conditions on your support
Don’t: Assume victim wants to leave relationship
Don’t: Put down the abuser
Adapted from www.opdv.state.ny.us, www.safehome-ks.org, “Domestic Violence: The Facts”, and “Mass. Guidelines for Schools on Addressing Teen Dating Violence”